April 1, 2017

September 3rd 2016

september 3rd 2016 september 3rd 2016 september 3rd 2016 september 3rd 2016september 3rd 2016 september 3rd 2016 september 3rd 2016 september 3rd 2016 september 3rd 2016 september 3rd 2016 september 3rd 2016
i usually do one of these posts every year for my birthday... this one, about a month after my half birthday, is a bit late, but i'm just now getting caught up on a whole ton of stuff anyway, so here goes nothing.

18, wow. this was the year i was going to take everything back, but isn't that just how this stuff always works? every birthday you felt the year before was lacking in that area, so this is the 'new year to take it back', and every time you seem to fail that, because you're human and plans don't ever go how you expect them to, or at least, that's how it has always been for me, and i've always learned the hard way.

18 was stretching to say the least. a lot happened that i didn't want to happen, but amongst the pain and the hurt, there was a lot of growth and a lot of good, and i can't and won't overlook that, and through it, i can say that 18 was a good year, but not a year i would want to relive all over again.

here is an exerpt of the one page journal entry i wrote on my birthday (this is actually the only thing i can find that i wrote on my birthday. i was travelling, but i was also going through a lot, there were a lot of emotions happening, and there was a lot of pushing away and even more prayer, and writing about my everyday life was not something i found easy, and it wasn't something that i really wanted to do during that time):

"my life is truly beginning, and God is the reason for why my life turned around. He is so faithful."
xo, rn