May 12, 2013

It Will Pass... (BEDM - Day 12)

Okay, today's topic:
Day 12, Sunday: What do you miss? (a person, a thing, a place, a time of your life...)
Well, I actually miss a certain day. It was the most fun day of my entire life, and I wouldn't trade it for anything. I learned a lot that day, and have a lot of great memories from it.
I'm not going into any detail whatsoever on that day, or even say which date it was. But it was late last year (2012)
But, because this would be a boring post otherwise, I'm going to talk about something else I miss.
He isn't a something. I don't didn't know him very well. I was young. But I still miss him very much.
I don't usually talk about him to anyone, and only have a few memories with him
He wasn't a person who broke my heart.
He is my grandpa.
It Will Pass
(okay, so, confession time! I don't think either of the kids he's holding are me. haha. yeah.)

He died when I was about 8. (that's about 8 years ago)
I don't remember much from his funeral/burial. I do remember it was his wish to have his burial first. He didn't want people seeing him at his funeral. And I remember saying that I wanted that same thing. (and I must say, I still do)
I do remember coloring with him, doing lite brite with him. I remember his last days just sitting in his chair. or visiting him at the hospital. At the time I didn't know what was wrong and why he was in the hospital. Or why we visited.
 He had a form of leukemia, and he lived longer than he was supposed to (14 1/2 years).
But even then I didn't really know he had leukemia and wasn't expected to live long.
We were never super close, and that's probably why I don't remember much about him.
But when he died, I remember picking up the phone when my grandma called.
I remember running outside to where my siblings were playing with the neighbors. I remember telling them. And I remember tears streaming down my face.
Something like this hadn't happened to me before. It didn't feel real.
I remember at his burial it was raining. We all had umbrellas. And I was standing one of my cousins. 
I remember laughing. I don't know why I did, but I did. I remember the glare my sister gave me.
I remember a younger cousin pointing into the grave hole, and asking "is that heaven?"
I remember sitting at the funeral service. Not knowing what was going on, or why.
I do know that I always loved grandpa. And no one can change that.
I love you, grandpa, and I hope you know that!

xo, RN
ps- don't forget to ask me a few questions here!

1 comment:

  1. This was a beautiful post! x


yes, you have a beautiful soul.