October 31, 2013

Hallway | October Photo Challenge 4/4

month 2 | photo 4
Hallway | Challenge
1) a corridor in a building
2) an entrance hall

 Click here to view more posts from this challenge.
xo, rn
ps- did you read about my challenge here?

October 30, 2013

Amusement | October Photo Challenge 3/4

month 2 | photo 3
Amusement | Challenge
1) the state or experience of finding something funny
2) the provision or enjoyment of entertainment.
 Click here to view more posts from this challenge.
xo, rn
ps- did you read about my challenge here?

October 29, 2013

Parent | October Photo Challenge 2/4

month 2 | photo 2
Parent | Challenge
1) a father or mother
2) be or act as a father or mother to someone
For this theme I wanted to do a picture of my father and mother, but it didn't happen. So I thought this one was pretty neat.
This is my dad (right) and one of his best friends.

 Click here to view more posts from this challenge.
xo, rn
ps- did you read about my challenge here?

October 19, 2013

Trail | October Photo Challenge 1/4

month 2 | photo 1
Trail | Challenge
1) a mark or a series of signs or objects left behind by the passage of someone or something.
2) a beaten path through rough country such as a forest or moor.

 Click here to view more posts from this challenge.
xo, rn
ps- did you read about my challenge here?
pps- and this post wouldn't be complete without this:
I was taking pictures of the trail (as I always take more than one), and after the first one, he just randomly walks in... Then he notices I'm taking a picture, and does this... just thought I'd add it! Trail | Challenge (blooper)

October 17, 2013

Abby | photos

Abby AbbyAbby AbbyAbby Abby Abby
This is Abby. She's one of my best friends, and we've known each other our whole lives.
She's absolutely gorgeous, and her style is so cute.
Abby is graduating high school this year, and I am so honored to be able to take her senior shots with another friend.
I'm so proud to be your friend, Abby, and can't wait to do your real senior shots soon!
xo, rn
ps- did you read about my challenge here?

October 10, 2013

This isn't just a normal update post. it's an explanation and something i dont know.

before i start, let me say that this was an extremely hard post to actually publish. and it may not be up for long. it totally depends on how i feel in the morning.
Rachel Nicole

i heard it was a good idea to actually go and write a post that shows that the writer of a blog really isn't all that perfect and has rough spots and things just don't always go correctly or as you always imagined they would.
in other words, to really sit back and get real with the readers.
so that's what this is.
if something's off, its because i'm not going to be editing this post at all.
you see, for more than a couple years i've had this really confusing time of my life. overall i'd say it's good, and i wrote in my journal the day before my 16th birthday that this was probably my best year yet (but maybe that's just because the few years before that were so rough, and i never want to look back at those years)
but being real, those few years that i hate so much were so good for me. they've shaped me, and molded me into who i am now. and even though i am the least favorite fan of those years, i'm still thankful for them.
back to the topic though.
these past couple years have been confusing. it feels like i'm swimming. i'm stuck in this current that just keeps taking me, and as hard as i try, i just can't get myself out of it. i'm staying afloat, but it's not been easy.
more than once i've yelled to myself about how i cant change even though i really want to.
i wouldn't say i'm happy about where i am, and i wouldnt say im upset about it either.
and i know its because my mood swings are so weird.
this isn't a sad post, but i'm crying.
that's actually been happening a lot this past year. when i see myself, pictures, or a video... its like all of a sudden i can't see myself without crying.
you may have read this post.
 guys, i'm trying, really trying to love myself as i should. (not love, but you know what i mean)
i'm sad to say that even though sometimes it may not seem like it, i am really REALLY self-conscious.
i dont show the extent of it, ever.
sometimes i'm okay with how i look or what i'm doing.
and other times i am really mad at myself for how i look, why everyone looks better, and why i don't try harder.
it's exhausting. 
i'm sure many of you can relate.
these wars you have with yourself...
well, i have them too.
and its not fun.
i know its not worth it.
but there is absolutely nothing i can do about it, it seems.
i don't mean to make this a pity party for myself, i'm just trying to be real with you, and talk about some things that i just dont talk about.
moving on.

Rachel Nicole

i have many secrets. i'm sure everyone does as well as me.
but i dont share them.
i dont feel as if i have someone i can share them with.
i keep them tucked away, and when it gets bad, i either just spend time alone, or, if that's not possible, i fake it. i've gotten pretty good at it, and i dont like that.
because that's not really how God designed us.
one of the reasons He made Eve, was so that Adam could have someone to talk to. not just normal everyday conversations. real, deep, personal talks.
and that's what He meant for other people as well, and i'm sure its refreshing and satisfying. but i wouldn't really know.
and the worst thing is, i don't want to know. i don't want other people to know my deepest thoughts. i don't want to share everything in my life with other people. i convince myself that no one cares, and even if they genuinely do, i shy away from it for some unknown reason. unknown to them and to me.
most of my friends are better friends with at least one of my sisters.
maybe thats a blessing, maybe thats a curse.
but i dont feel like i can share with them because of that.
so i dont
the other friends are just that, friends. not secret sharing friends.
and the couple friends i feel i could share with either live far away from, or wouldn't work out. not yet.
and so you see all these conflicting thoughts, youve just read them, and you can probably make as much sense out of them as I can.
i'm just going to write it out right now.
i dont mind how this all is right now. i dont really mind not having someone to share things with, because i feel it would be awkward. i don't really want opinions on what you think i can do to remove this from my life, because i don't have much of a problem with it.
so because of that fact, i will be turning comments off for this post.
if you really feel led say something, you can email me (i really love getting emails, so don't feel like its a bother).

Rachel NicoleRachel Nicole

there is one point in my life where i'm so unsure. i've done so much for it, trying to do work it out in my head, figuring it out, never figuring it out, being back at step one, trying to get to step two, failing, trying, and have just have run out of anything to do with it.
i had been praying about it, but recently ive just given the whole thing to God, because i'm just so tired of pursuing it not knowing what to do, and because He is all knowing and He loves me more than anyone, and He cares about all my problems more than anyone ever possibly could, and because He knows what the conclusion will be, and he will work out all the details with or without me "helping", i've decided to try to get completely out of the way, and let Him do what needs to be done.
because, being real, what's going to happen will happen in His time end of story.
why exhaust myself trying to figure it out when obviously He doesn't think it's the right time for me to figure it out.
I've given it to Him, and trusting and praying that I will be ready when He gives an answer. and just by doing that, its been a great lift off of my back.
of course, it took a while to get to this point. it always does.
i'm a stubborn sinner and feel that i know whats best for me, even though i obviously dont. and i try to get it to work for me, and when it doesn't, i turn to God and ask Him why He is doing this to me.
And because He is so good, He picks me up, fills me up again and tells me that He has it under control. All i have to do is wait on Him.
Time and time again, He renews me, and I just throw it back up in His face when He is taking too long only to realize that what He is doing is the right thing, and that i have become too selfish. 
But His grace never fails, guys. It NEVER fails. He's always patient, forgiving, and kind.
And as undeserving as I may be, He will always be there for me. and He will never run out of grace.
thank you all for reading, and i hope maybe you could take something away from this that is helpful to you.

just one more thing i'm going to retell you.
i did turn the comments off for this post.
i dont want anything written on it, but i would like to know if you liked it or not, and what you thought of it, so if you did read it, and would want to tell me what you thought, emailing me would be the way to go. (click here)
xo, rn

October 6, 2013

jelly molds and self-acceptance {guest post by elisabeth}

hello darlings,
i'm elisabeth, popping over from here to say a big heyo and share my thoughts (while rachel is away).
i love my King, and i like other stuff. like starbucks, whipped cream, photography, and colors, in case you were wondering.
okay enough of me. now on to you. hope you enjoy this post ♥


you know how jelly is poured into a mold, and after freezing, it takes on its shape? i don't ever want to be like that. poured into a mold, froze, and become just like any other jelly. i believe that i'm unique, and that everybody is as well. i believe that there is something special in everybody, waiting for the right person at the right time to push that potential. some people like to call it style, others- personality. doesn't matter; it all points to that special thing in a person that distinguishes them from everyone else.

via tumblr
there's also something else called society (i like to call it the giant, jelly factory mold). it attempts to squeeze every single person through that mold and change them into the basic jelly shape. altering your definition of beauty, life, God, love, and happiness. altering your belief that a rounded shape can be beautiful. changing your confidence that happiness doesn't have to come with beauty. i've been there.

i didn't always believe i was unique, you know. my sister--beautiful, talented, musical, always in the limelight. she was the mold i tried to fit in. i forced myself into her mold, squeezing myself into her unique character that was created specially by Him for her. and when i couldn't, i exploded with frustration. couldn't keep my emotions in anymore. cried often, wondering why i couldn't be as good as her. wondering why when i tried to talk to people like how she did it (charismatic and bubbly as she was), they looked at me funny and i felt plain stupid. wondering why i couldn't be musical enough to play the piano as well as her.

via tumblr

it was a late night when i finally poured it out to her. told her she was so lucky, and i was so jealous of her social un-awkwardness. told her how every time i talked to people, i would be so conscious of me being me. then she looked at me and started telling me the areas in which she wanted to be like me. hoo boy, shocked i was. then i realized something, by trying to fit myself into her mold that made specially for her, i was losing out on using my personality to its full potential. and it all boiled down to the problem of self-acceptance. i wasn't accepting myself; no, i was too busy fitting myself into someone else's mold!

via tumblr
i know with the society as it is now, it's even harder to accept yourself. (it was hard enough in the sixteenth century, and now even more with all the technology, magazines and whatnot.) it's hard to accept who you were made to be when you see all the glamorous celebrities posing on the magazine covers at the newspaper stand. it's hard to accept yourself when you look at that gorgeous girl at school/church/wherever who always gets the attention. it's hard to accept when you start comparing yourself. so: stop comparing. love yourself, and remember: you were made in the image of the One who is beautiful. you are beautiful.

love, elisabeth

October 4, 2013

birthday girl portraits

Happy 5th Birthday, Lydia! Happy 5th Birthday, Lydia!Happy 5th Birthday, Lydia! Happy 5th Birthday, Lydia! Happy 5th Birthday, Lydia!Happy 5th Birthday, Lydia! Happy 5th Birthday, Lydia! Happy 5th Birthday, Lydia!Happy 5th Birthday, Lydia! Happy 5th Birthday, Lydia! Happy 5th Birthday, Lydia!Happy 5th Birthday, Lydia! Happy 5th Birthday, Lydia! Happy 5th Birthday, Lydia!Happy 5th Birthday, Lydia! Happy 5th Birthday, Lydia! Happy 5th Birthday, Lydia! Happy 5th Birthday, Lydia! Happy 5th Birthday, Lydia! Happy 5th Birthday, Lydia! Happy 5th Birthday, Lydia! Happy 5th Birthday, Lydia! Happy 5th Birthday, Lydia!Happy 5th Birthday, Lydia! Happy 5th Birthday, Lydia! Happy 5th Birthday, Lydia! Happy 5th Birthday, Lydia!Happy 5th Birthday, Lydia! Happy 5th Birthday, Lydia!
if you missed the birthday post, click here.
also, this picture was taken during this photoshoot... if you're interested.

when i look at these pictures i get a happy feeling inside. because these show my sister spot on.
literally. this girl has all that spunk and personality. all these poses are her idea (okay, i may or may not have told her how to put her hands in that first photo, and to lean up against the garage siding... but that's her face! her idea!)
and i wouldn't trade her spunk and her personality for anything in the world, because this is who she is, and that's what makes her so amazing.
guys, i do not know how a little girl could be as creative as she is. i babysit, i'm around kids a lot, i know this stuff.
she's never (ever) bored. if she doesn't have anything to do, she'll draw. or color. she finds all her own things to do. i have never heard the words "i'm bored" or "there's nothing to do" come out of her mouth, because she's got a mind of her own, and that girl knows how to use it.
xo, rn
ps- did you read about my challenge here?