April 10, 2014

forgotten photos that now become relevant \\ the seemingly perfect mug.

forgotten photos that now become relevant.forgotten photos that now become relevant.
these photos are old. they aren't any photos like the ones i usually remember and come back to. i was editing old photos, just because that's fun for me to do, and i haven't had a lot of fun lately. mostly just stress. and back way into my archives, i found these two photos. they're not much of anything, not something i guess i'd even normally share. they're rather boring. but at the time, i thought i might experiment with them. probably would just sit on my computer, maybe upload to flickr, but not something i would ever care to share, being not much of anything, what words could i find to go with them?
well, apparently a lot. there was a purpose for these two photos, i guess. hidden somewhere deep.
they're just two photos of a mug. one of the outside, not really showing what's inside. it looks nice on the outside, perfect, really. only a blurred peep of what's inside. and then the next shot is of the mug, showing more of what's inside. a small amount of drink left, but up above, it's dirty. dark, and messy.
and oh so true to life.
or at least my life.
ive shared this here before, but im one of those people who doesn't share much. blame it on me thinking no one cares about my problems, or being too embarrassed to share. either and both of those are true. 
im like that mug. I mask what I feel on the inside so that people don't see that mess, and only the outside. that problem belongs to me, they wouldn't really care to listen to the whole story, and honestly, its embarrassing for me to share.
most of the time, people only really see what i want them to see. there are very few people who i would ever dream of telling anything, and they can bring it out if they tried even the slightest. which is why im not naming any names. but there are times when ive broken hard, and that mask starts coming down. no matter how hard i try, i can't get it back up. it takes time to do that. and my emotions aren't really very helpful.

i like to be alone during these times. its a lot harder to keep that stuff in when my emotions are tearing at me. 
You see, when you are having problems, and you are mad and frustrated at yourself, that's when satan can best get his work done. he takes those problems and he twists you into thinking you're not good enough. he is an absolute pro at ruining lives. he does it every day. 
He takes all those questions and gives you frustrated answers. you're an emotional mess, and so you accept them. you're already feeling bad about yourself, why not add that to the whole pile. and the only thing that will help pull you out of your broken misery, that deep dark pit, is Jesus. It's at your darkest times when satan comes at you, knowing you're at that point where he can win. and it's also at these times when you need the shining light of Jesus most. 
Jesus conquered satan. He is the only one who was perfect enough to be able to do so. satan knows and doesn't like it. That's why satan can't hang around when you're praying, when you're crying out to God. 
That's why things will get better.
Jesus can take that messy inside, and clean it all out. He is the only one able to fix our problems. And in those dark times, He needs to be the light.
That mug is now resting clean on our shelf. It didn't do that on its own. Someone had to help along the way.
My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth. - Psalm 121:2

God is within her, she will not fall; God will help her at break of day. - Psalm 46:5

The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters. He restores my soul. He guides me along the right paths, for his name's sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me. Your rod and your staff, they comfort me. - Psalm 23:1-4

Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. 
Therefore get rid of all filth and the evil that is so prevalent, and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you.
Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him. - Excerpts from James 1 that very much helped me get through yesterday night.
xo, rn
ps- did you read about my challenge here?

3 comments:

  1. I love this post. So much. It's like you're writing the things that I never say because I don't know know how or I am too afraid. Thank you. :)

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    Replies
    1. Aw, you're so sweet. Thank you so much for saying this.

      xo, rn

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yes, you have a beautiful soul.