December 17, 2015

it's crunch time

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i don't know about you, but for me it's that time of the semester. that time when you're so ready to be done, but you only have a few more classes left to finish up. the time when you don't want to be in school anymore, but also need to work the hardest. the time when all the previous procrastinating you've done is like the water pushing on a broken dam. if you don't do anything it's gonna come crashing down, and all you really want to do is just close your eyes and let it surround you as you dream it away. but because you're a good student and you have dreams that require skills you don't completely have yet, you start completing those tasks. you know you can't fix the dam, the damage has been done there, but you can start taking some of the pressure off. so you move on, head first, checking those things off the checklist and counting down the days to the magical date where the time is yours again, if only for a little while. (M.12.14.15)

for myself, crunch time is the best and the worst. i do better under pressure, which is probably why i am a procrastinator in the first place. when i have a limited amount of time, especially if that time doesn't seem like it will be enough, i meet all my goals in record time, and everything seems so much better. in the long run, i'm not so sure this is the best way, as every once in a while it backfires and you're really stuck, but it's what i have found works best for me.

today i am sitting in my school's library. i got out of my JavaScript class early (thank the Lord i don't have to go in on tuesday at all. i hated that class with a vengeance) and am waiting until 12pm when my english class meets. i turned in my paper, will turn in my assignment, take my vocab final, and then i'm free for the day, and, in turn, done with both JavaScript 1 and english. this is such a happy feeling, and i'm so ready for it. then it's just monday a final quiz and presentation for my web design class and a math final. that will be the end of my first semester of my major. while i did mostly enjoy it, there have been parts i disliked, which, actually, was mostly all relating to the people. i'm hoping as i go more graphics based and less technical based that will help with having classmates who i can actually relate with, but we'll see. my grades have been good, so i can deal with the classmates if that's the majority of the issues i've had (also that i didn't understand JavaScript completely, but that's whatever, i suppose).

in the end, what matters most is that i do have people in my life who will cheer me on, who will encourage me, support me, point me back to Jesus, and love me. these people don't have to be my classmates, and that's okay. i have that community, i have that home, and that's one of the most important things for getting through this life.

wishing the best of luck to you all as you finish finals, exams, classes, or whatever happens to be consuming the majority of your time currently. love to you! 
xo, rn