i'm not telling you that it's going to be easy, because it's not. i'm going to tell you the real, raw, hard truth.
it's going to be the most difficult thing, getting over your past and just completely moving on. you're going to break, you're going to heal, you're going to break again, you're going to heal again, you're going to repeat this process many times, you're going to sob and shout into your pillow until you have no tears and your voice is raspy.
it's not going to be an easy task, there are going to be days when you feel like giving up, there are going to be days when you feel like going back would just be easier. there are going to be days when you want to take up your old habits, even though you know they will only make it worse. there are going to be days when those horrible thoughts come creeping back in, there are going to be days when a bad idea seems like a good idea. it's a part of the process.
but don't let any of that control you, because i absolutely promise you:
if you stay strong, if you hold on, if you trust that God's plan is better, if you say no more, and actually mean it, if you stay the path and trudge through the pain, frustration, anxiety, hurt, depression, hopelessness, and utter despair, you will heal. You will get through, and what God has for you on the other side will be worth everything. i absolutely promise that you can do this, and if you need someone to help you, don't hesitate to reach out. there are arms wanting to hold you up, people want to help. ask. heal. be so loved.
it's been a long semester so far. this is spring break, and so far i've spent it doing homework. i can't really complain too much, though, because at least i'm not getting more. but the real point of this post is to say that this evening was the first thunderstorm of the year, and it made me so happy. i was outside on my porch wrapped up in a blanket just watching... it was a beautiful experience.
also, keep holding on. it'll get easier, i know it will, because you're so special, in the absolute best way possible. i know you can succeed at whatever you put your mind to.
and that was just as much for you as it was for me.