September 29, 2016

"i like to be busy."

philippians 4:13
lately i've been feeling like every time i complete a task, i'm falling three more tasks behind. i know that i am trying to do too much, but that isn't stopping me from taking more on. i am being giving so many opportunities for things i've always dreamed about. it's absolutely amazing to see them coming true, and i can only stand in wonder of just how good God is and how evident His presence is within this area. 
the problem i keep running into is that i don't have the time to take twelve credits, work over 25 hours a week at my part time job, do homework, have a social life, sleep + eat consistently, plus run three other businesses on the side (with another one looming). 
"i like to be busy", i say, as i feel like i'm being crushed by the staggering amount of stress i so constantly feel. "i'll figure it out, once i get my rhythm", i say, as i am talking myself through yet another panic attack. 
the mental and emotional breakdowns have been real and occur far more often than i know they should, and i don't know what to do about it, but i think the hardest part is admitting that there is a problem and letting go of the mindset that you still have control.
xo, rn