September 29, 2016

"i like to be busy."

philippians 4:13
lately i've been feeling like every time i complete a task, i'm falling three more tasks behind. i know that i am trying to do too much, but that isn't stopping me from taking more on. i am being giving so many opportunities for things i've always dreamed about. it's absolutely amazing to see them coming true, and i can only stand in wonder of just how good God is and how evident His presence is within this area. 
the problem i keep running into is that i don't have the time to take twelve credits, work over 25 hours a week at my part time job, do homework, have a social life, sleep + eat consistently, plus run three other businesses on the side (with another one looming). 
"i like to be busy", i say, as i feel like i'm being crushed by the staggering amount of stress i so constantly feel. "i'll figure it out, once i get my rhythm", i say, as i am talking myself through yet another panic attack. 
the mental and emotional breakdowns have been real and occur far more often than i know they should, and i don't know what to do about it, but i think the hardest part is admitting that there is a problem and letting go of the mindset that you still have control.
xo, rn

7 comments:

  1. I feel the same way. I'm finally getting to a place where I'm on top of things, but the last few weeks have been rough. You'll make it!!!

    p.s. I love that notebook <3

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  2. Replies
    1. thank you thank you, sweet friend! <3

      xx, rn

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  3. i feel you girl.
    but God doesn't want His kids stressing out; He's got this so you don't have to. :)

    xx

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  4. "There's something chillingly exotic about November it reminds me of my soul" oh COME ON! YOUR WRITING IS TERRIBLE. You're over dramatic ugh ugh ugh and your eyebrows are cringe-worthy. You bought followers on Instagram. Stop trying so hard and just be yourself

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    Replies
    1. hey, anon.
      no. i don't know who you are, and obviously that is how you want it. you've commented on my site so many times, and every time you never have anything nice to say. at this point, i wonder why you even bother anymore.
      the fact that you don't ever have anything nice to say does not bother me like you want it to. i've been dished plenty of crap in my life, and it seems that you are also struggling from that. i am truly sorry, it's not a great feeling, and it hurts.
      truth is, i have never been more myself and i do truly love who i am. your words will not reach my heart like you want them to.
      even though i know i don't have to explain myself, i can also say that i have never spent any money on followers in my life, and i never will.
      if you do truly mean the words you say, i am sorry you do, but it makes me wonder why you keep up with me. you obviously read my instagram posts and my words here on this blog. i don't know why, but you do. something is making you come back, and maybe you should dig into why that is.
      i am here if you would ever like to talk. i would love to help you in any way that i can.
      you have great value. you are so very loved.

      xx, rn

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yes, you have a beautiful soul.